download“What is your love language?”

Seems like a harmless question, legit for the geeks that is. Because the remaining non-geeks don’t have a clue of what you’re about.

Let me rephrase.

“What is that thing done to you by a person or people that convinces you they care about you/love you?” (Ooh, some goofy smiles go up into the atmosphere) *say it in Papa Jakes’ voice for added humor*

We have a big issue on our hands today because we got children, genuinely loved  by their parents yet they grow up feeling a void, we got couples struggling to stay together for the sake of their children, husbands scratching their heads because they do not know how else to tell their wives they love them, wives doing the heavens and the earth for their men and end up being accused of not loving them. The family is in a crisis because parents are struggling to raise their kids with moral principles, backhands, front-hands, all sorts of discipline (please refer to the “yoruba mother’s dictionary” for types of slaps).

Before I talk about love languages, the subject of whose I still am a humble student, I would like to make a few things a little clearer. Now, every human on earth has what can be described as an “emotional reserve”. It’s located in the heart to be precise, in section 2 sub section 34………..okay okay let me stop goofing.

Now your emotional reserve, or tank works in two directions. From it your emotions, expressions pour out and the way people relate to you always leaves a deposit back, whether good or, the other one. So in essence, you pour from it and affect other people’s emotional reserve tanks, and they pour into yours.

Here’s another thing: You cannot control what kind of emotions people allow to get to them; you can only encourage them to make the right choice. You can, however, control what deposits enter your reserve, and what outputs you make available to others. Now that sounds like a good deal; I watch my gates and you watch yours. But here’s the problem: I got sheep and you got goats. Your goats are the obedient, domestic, well-fed, Christmas worthy, clean and tuxedo wearing animals who only wander when you tell them to. In other words, you have full control over them. Now someone releases a goat to your gates. Looks good, tuxedo wearing, a bit of the fit side compared to your round Christmas delights, and you let it in. No sooner than it crosses the gates it transforms real quick to a dirty, stubborn, no-good, run-off-the-mill pest that chews your water-leaf plants and pees on your doorway. You leave it thinking it will come to its senses when it sees the rest, but oh how wrong you are! In no time your Christmas delights begin weightlifting, forget their groomed selves and start chewing the waterleaf plants and peeing on your door. Goat see, goat do. (normally it’s a monkey but I beg to differ).

So you have a shed full of unruly goats, and while you are fighting them from destroying the little dignity your doorway has left, after waiting for a tad too long to take action and discovering you a re down to your last 10 water-leaf seedlings, one wanders off to my sheep. Now we all know how defenseless sheep can be. People say stupid but I feel they just have an extremely high level of trust too deep for us to grab with all that is going on in this world today. This goat was initially one of you well-fed, well groomed sweethearts but overtime, he grew muscles and started stinking of ammonia residues. The sheep are surprised, and of course they follow since they don’t know any better and trust this “new” animal has something to offer them. I do the same thing you did, the cycle happens again, and again, until someone takes a stand, identifies the main cause of the mayhem and chases it out, then restores discipline to his own animals. People not taking responsibility for their animals, not cleaning their sheds and not controlling what comes through the gates is the main reason why so many folks today walk about with messed up emotions. The interesting question is: how did the first goat get dirty, have muscles, and start chewing water-leaf? He must have seen it somewhere. Where?

to be continued.

Efunnuga Henrietta Adedayo.


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