EMOTIONAL PAIN: THE HIDDEN STRUGGLE

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The once simple but beautiful one has turned shrewd and deadly, her eyes shining with confidence under which deception lurks, ready to pounce on…….

The quiet, handsome guy who after various attempts gets married to his career……

You stop the single mother of two deceased boys from jumping off the bridge, and she sends a missile team of curses your way. Smartly dodging every firearm, you try encouraging her. Her words hit you like hail..

“……you don’t understand my pain….”

Ah, but don’t you? You just got dropped by the third guy you dated in 2 years for no clear reason, your credentials are yet to be verified, you recently got a rude comment about your weight, and even though you are here holding this lady, you personally are about to jump into an abyss of depression in your mind…….

Everyone has at one point or the other encountered pain. It is considered a bitter feeling, the relevance often discovered later on. Some people experience pain almost everyday, having to face different challenges and backstabbing experiences from people they trust so much. Others have been pushed to serious lengths in a bid to stem the pain inside – drugs, alcohol, self-injuring, self-pleasuring, food. Yet again others have gotten into a very dangerous zone- a zone where they’ve experienced so much pain that they no longer feel anything; they are so cold they won’t shed a tear if a baby dies. They’ve lost all touch with their inner selves and are just like moving stone even thought they joke and smile.

When you meet with pain, what do you do? One of the hardest things to do sometimes is walk away from the source of the pain; a favorite friend, the person you’ve finished building your future with in your mind, a sole source of income. Do you sit in the pain? Do you hide from the world, and turn to other means to stifle the pain?

As someone who personally is no stranger to pain, there’s a few things I’d like you to know:

It’s okay to cry when you’re in pain – Your tears are proof of your humanity, a proof that you’re still alive. Don’t see yourself as weak or feeble, it’s perfectly okay to let it all out in tears.

It’s okay to seek help when you’re in pain – Whether it’s a message, a prayer, a conversation with your mentor or closest person, your going out to seek a way to get over the pain is a bold step that you’re willing to move on.

It’s not okay to keep mute about your pain: Like secrecy is the strength of sin, the strength of pain is silence. There are times you need to shout out, or go out, or listen to an uplifting song – anything to keep your mind on track while you deal with the pain. If you don’t do anything, your mind will be open to negative thoughts, and because pain pierces both body and soul, the mind would drag your body to unorthodox ways of silencing the pain, which can be harmful in the long run.

It’s not okay to run away from your pain – Sometimes pain is like a weed, when you keep running from it it keeps growing deep into your heart, producing bitterness, remorse, hopelessness, discouragement, hatred for yourself and for everyone around. The day you confront your pain is the day you begin a difficult yet feasible journey to freedom and  peace.

It’s okay to find and make peace with or forgive the source of the pain, if it’s a person or even a condition or circumstance. Forgiving is key to ensuring your healing and freedom. It also makes the wounds become sturdy scars that make you stronger.

I know this post might be unusual of me, but I’ve discovered that a lot of people experience pain and don’t know how to get through it or deal with it. I personally am a survivor of deep emotional pain that nearly made me go to extreme measures to quench it; I literally mean emotional pain so deep my heart seemed to “pain” me. But I am grateful I have the Holy Spirit to help me overcome on a daily basis, and so do you if you’re a believer.

I urge you, if you’re in pain for one reason or the other, DO NOT KEEP SILENT! Depression is no fluke; suicide is real, nervous breakdowns are not caused by evil spirits alone! Get help, get someone reliable to pour out to and guide you to walking through the period when you need support. As a person, and a music minister committed to helping people who struggle with these things, I am never too far if you feel you need someone to pour out to but have no one near you. Just send a note to my mail efunnugarita@gmail.com and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

Keep winning; He’s got his hands on you.

Efunnuga Henrietta Adedayo.

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